Showing posts with label Saga of Loralil Greyfox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Saga of Loralil Greyfox. Show all posts

Monday, August 4, 2014

Getting your tale started

As a writer one of the things we all need to do is find that opening to our tales that drags the reader in and makes them read what we have so lovingly written. A story that starts off slowly might work in some genres but in those of us who are writing in the genres of fantasy, science fiction and horror really need that hook.

Now I admit dumping a reader into an intense action sequence can be jarring if not done right. So there is a fine balancing act going on. As a writer of mostly short fiction, I tend to go for the hook, the punch early and then let the tale tell itself, but now that I am doing longer tales I need to have the action move up and down.

While in the genres of mystery and romance, you can start out with introspection but in fantasy or science fiction you need that tension. For example I can give you some of my opening pages.

Here in Endings, the first book of my Saga of Loralil Greyfox I have the action off stage so to speak but it is there:


Screams of terror and betrayal filled the clearing. Blood flowed as the vicious invaders looked for their prey. They weren't here, but the sounds from below should bring them forth. Death was not quiet on this afternoon


Once the noise from the attack reached up the hill to the smithy, the Blade master looked up. He was tall for these small folk. He came to a height of 5'6". Tall for an elf. He had blue black hair tied back in a club. His eyes were a deep purple, odd for a surface dwelling elf. He had massive muscles from years of smithing. He grabbed up the nearest weapon, a sword he made years ago for a king who did not live to collect his custom job. A flame brand. He yelled back to the open door of his home, "Silvershine! Greyfox! Come out here!"


"What is it, Stoneblade?" Asked his wife as she came out of the house. She was a beautiful woman. Long silver hair pulled back into a myriad of tiny braids. She was slender and graceful. She had kept a fine figure after the birth of her child and the following years of settled life. She was a foot shorter than her husband and had a voice that would make birds stop singing in envy.


"The village is under attack," Stoneblade replied quickly has he turned to intercept his child as she tried to fly past him. "Stop right there! Greyfox, you must go to the hiding place."


"Father! No! I want to help!"

***

As you can see I put action in the very first page of this novella length tale. It hooks in the reader (or so I am told) and makes them want to read more. This is a good thing for any writer.

When you move into a second book, you don't need to have as strong a hook to get the reader. If you have hooked them properly then your second tale in the series can have a less action oriented opening, as I have here in Revenge, the second in the Loralil books:

Travel during the winter was always hard; it was even harder for Loralil.  She was leaving the only home she had known; she had spent the last two years living with her uncle, her mother's brother.  He had tried his best to make Loralil feel welcome and it wasn't his fault that she was leaving.  It wasn't his fault that the people of his home clan could not accept her.  She had very few of the mannerisms expected of an Elven maiden.  She tried to fit in but she just couldn't.  The prejudice of the people against anything non-Elven was too much to deal with.  They felt that anything or anyone not Elven was beneath notice.  Never mind that Loralil had spent thirty years in human hands, she was an elf and was expected to act like an Elven maiden of her years; with all the training and knowledge that an Elven maiden of her years normally would have.  The clan elders knew her history and tried to ease her way but many just didn't care.

Her parents had been rebels in the eyes of many here.  Her mother had left to train in a human run bardic college not staying and learning from the bards at home.  She had then gone on to adventure in the outside world, instead of coming home to care for her family's businesses.  She had the audacity of meeting and then she marrying outside her clan's wishes to a different race of elf, to an elf that worked for a human monarch.  And worse yet she decided to settle down with a third race of elves away from the clan and raise her family there.  

***

A more relaxed opening than what I had with the first tale, correct? In my opinion Revenge is a better book, but that is because I had learned a lot in the years between writing the two tales.

Now those are of course both fantasy books. As a fantasy writer I generally know how to get my fantasy tales moving from the very beginning but switching genres can make it a bit harder to pull off.  In this, the opening to Escape, I once more track back to the intense action opening.:

Caro ran down the corridor ahead of the Sweepers. Throwing a look back at each bend in the way, she managed to stay just out of their view. Dodging between the shoppers, under the long scraps of material that heralded what each tiny, hole in the wall shop specialized in, she moved from one tiny space to another with all the agility of a child. The Sweepers were once more rounding up the young and masterless and it was clear they needed new females, females to breed up new warriors and to slave for the Masters. Caro refused to follow in her sister dancers footsteps, refused to be made a slave again. She needed to get off this station, onto a ship headed to a free world. A few more twists and turns down tunnels that echoed with the mix of languages that made up the natives of the station. Cries of warning and of complaint mixed with the patios of commerce. She leapt high over a cart that had spilled in the middle of her path, briefly amazing those watching as she seemed to fly. She flashed a tight grin and waved as she landed, a quick pirouette that she could not stop herself from doing. She rolled her eyes at her action and dashed off once more. A few more twisting turns and she came to the concourse. Slowing, she eeled her way into the crowd. Her size helped her blend into the crowd, but she stood out for her ethnicity. Where most of those who lived and worked on this station were small with black hair and blacker eyes, she had a different shape to her face, her eyes large and round compared to the almond shape of those bred to this station. She was dressed in her silks, a bright flash of color among a sea of black tunics and pants. A cardinal that stood out surrounded as she was by crows. She had to find Adam. Only with him did she feel safe from the Sweepers.

***
 Once more I have pulled out that action sequence to pull the reader into the first book of a series. By making the first character the heroine, I give readers (at least the female ones) someone to sympathize with and hopefully make them want to know just what she is running from and why.

Switching genres, sort of, I have Fall Into Nightmares. This post-apocalyptic novel has more the tension from something other than action. While I did include a lot of action in the first of the Chaos War series, this book started with a more dramatic, emotional opening (IMO):


"You will change the world, my love. Your agony will set me free!"

Jeffrey woke with a start, his eyes darted about the darkened room searching for the source of the voice that filled his head but there was nothing and no one there. After a few minutes, his breathing calmed down and he whispered. "Just a dream, nothing more."

"Hmm?" came a soft, muffled murmur at his side. He looked down with a soft smile for the woman who shared his bed. Reaching out he lightly brushed a lock of black hair from her cheek.

"Nothing love, go back to sleep." He moved closer to the girl, wrapping an arm around her and drifted back to sleep. Just as he fell back over into dreams, he heard soft and evil laughter.

***

Using a dream for an opening can be very powerful if done well. If you are looking to do a horror story or a fantasy with heavy horror elements, you can can use this type of opening easily.

So as a writer you have to decide. Do you do an intense action piece for your opening page, a dream or something simple like this piece from The Traveler, my fantasy novel


Riding through the storm, Edana sighed as the shelter finally came in sight.  She had been riding for hours in the massive storm.  The crash of the thunder had become just background noise to her.  As her horse stumbled to a halt, she pulled her mind together and with great effort looked around.  They had stopped in front of the first travel shelter she had seen in days.  It was one of a series of small buildings scattered along the old grand highway or should have been.  Most had been left to the elements, falling to ruins that had barely a single wall to set a tent against. With an effort of will she unclasped the hand holding the reins, her fingers were white from the cold.  She pushed back her heavy, wet hair with a shaking hand and sighed wearily.  "This is a good enough place.  Time to rest."

****

 Each tale of course has its own flavor and style but do your best to not make that opening page boring.  If you do you will find the readers will be few and far between.

Monday, March 4, 2013

I keep doing it! Forgetting to comment over here!

Well I will have to reorganize all my links so I can post here too!

I have been very busy since my last post back in January.  I put out Revenge finally.  For those of you reading this and not in the know that is the second book of the Saga of Loralil Greyfox.  The first book has been reviewed with a solid four star ranking so far.  People think that is it dark..and well yeah it is.  Revenge is also but in a different way.  I can only hope that the readers of Endings will be looking forward to reading the longer and better written sequel.

Yesterday I put up a new story in the Death Walks Through short story series.  The story is titled The Red Ghost Rides and it is a short short but still a fun retelling of an old American south western legend.  I hope people will look for it where ever they buy ebooks.  There will be a fifth story in that series up once I get my butt in gear and make a cover.

I have also made two new book trailers.  Endings can be found both on youtube like all my trailers and it is the first of my trailers up on viveo.  You can see it here.

https://vimeo.com/61005423

I am about halfway through my next novel. The Traveler is a lighter (for me) fantasy novel.  This one might just fit in the YA category, or so I hope.  After all that is a huge market right?

I have also started putting up my really short short stories over on Wattpad.  These will be freebies to let people see how I write.  The first one, In Space No One Can Hear You Scream, was written as part of a Halloween short story contest on amazon's Space station discussion group.  It was so much fun that I have written two more that will go up, you guessed it, when I make covers for them!.  I plan on posting a longer story too, A Bargain with Fur.  That is a retelling of a Japanese folk story inspired by a filk song I have.  While I could probably sell it I don't feel right doing so but I hope people will enjoy it.

Now I thought I had put Sins of the Father up on Wattpad but I was wrong.  That fan fiction greatest hits (for me) is up over on Goodreads.  Anyone who wants to reread (or read for the first time) my most popular story you can find it there.


Monday, July 30, 2012

Write, write and write some more..then edit

Yup doing just that.  A Watery Grave is moving along and might be done today if I can decide a couple things through the building headache.  I am not sure if it is the focus, the kids in the background or the weather but darn it all i am going to finish this one up.  I need to move forward with other long awaited stories, really I do.

Endings is up on Amazon now, as is Sacrifice.  Endings being on another site will never be a free download but Sacrifice I have set up to be free Tuesday.  Here is hoping I get some movement and a review or two out of it.  Ice finished up a respectable 179 downloads.  Can't argue with that now can I?  Okay a few more sales would be nice but hey two actual paid for sales?  It is a start right?

Got the cover fixed on Sacrifice too.  I know the story is set in a dark place but I guess having it on my cover was not a good idea.  Figures.  When I finish up A Watery Grave I will have to do a pretty cover.  Now to do that I need those photos my daughter said she would take for me.  After all if you are going to have a real place in the story why not have a photo of the real place right?  Could be interesting.  If it gets any movement that is.  Hope Everlasting has not moved at all.  Now that surrpised me.  One More All Hallows had respectable downloads...yeah mostly free but I thought that would have led people to trying out the second story.  It isn't priced too bad either.  Well I will put it on free for a day when I put up A Watery Grave.

Okay time to go back to deciding just how Harry et all will defeat the Mari-morgens and keep Sandy Pond a safe place for fishermen and kids.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Morning sunshine all around

Well been a busy morning.  Lots of nice people giving us condolences on our loss.  As nice as it is I would rather we still had Stephen in our lives but these things happen.

The day is cooler thankfully.  Which made running to the store (okay walking we all know lisa cant run) to get the cocoa.  Gotta make the brownies soon.

Now writing wise it was cool to see this this morning:

http://bestindiebooks.com/great-indie-books/show-books/132/Gates/Short-Stories/

This is a site that advertizes indie author's books.  Now since I got in on the beta test my book is advertised for free.  Not huge when it is just links through to my amazon book but hey it is a start right?  Now if we can get those who link through to actually buy the book I would be happy. 

And it is a great deal after all.  The kindle copy, which is where the link goes, is a great deal.  99 cents for six awesome short stories.  How can you beat that right?

Well back to making another poem video.  Since getting Harry to tell me his story isn't working so well today I figured I have other avenues of expression.  Yeah I could move to Destiny's story or more of Loralil's tales but I want to put my poems out for reading too.

Monday, July 23, 2012

whoops forgot this isn't connected

Yeah silly me..I forgot I need to post on all my blogs, not just one.  Been so busy making book covers and book trailers, poem videos and well just plain writing.  So I will babble for a little here.  Yeah I have been posting stuff up on Amazon.  Got Echoes of Elder Times started and Guardian of the Gate City and of course Death Walks through.  All three series in the faces of those who are willing to read SHORT fiction over the overly long if well written novels out there.  I write short..we all know that.  Or those crazy people who read my stuff do.

Just put Ending, book one of the Saga of Loralil Greyfox up on Kobo.  Should take a couple of days for complete processing.  Now that one is a bit more pricey than my other stuff.  Being a complete (to me) novel I put it up for $3.99.  My Novella, The Knight Protector I had put up on Smashwords and Amazon at $2.99 and the short stories vary, either being 99 cents or $1.99 if they are longer.  So I am slowly taking over.  Not really but I am publishing.

I have had one sale of the paperback, and so far one sale of Partings, one of One More All Hallows Eve, One of Ice and one of Passing the Torch.  Too bad Night and Day hasn't seen movement since the free offering.  No one has bought it.

I have reviews and that is cool.

Partings has three, One More All Hallows has four, Night and Day has one and Passing the Torch has one.  Nothing so far on reviews for Knight Protector, Gates, Hope Everlasting or Ice.  Course Ice has only been up for about two days so I don't expect that one to have reviews as of yet.

I have been getting views on my book trailers and poem videos.  Even got a comment from one person.  So I guess that is a start.

Now it is too hot to stay here in front of my machine.  Time for a cold drink.